Football Fanatics

Boys and their football annoyed me today. Not an uncommon occurrence. There’s always something going wrong – and I don’t mean injury-wise. 

Ahmed M refuses to be goalie. As a protest he goes and lies on his back in front of the goalpost and pretends to be sleeping. When he does get the ball, he never passes but tries to impress with his footwork. And then misses! 

Ahmad O is the big guy. Relies on his size and bullying tactics. Forfeits a free-kick-potential-goal by deliberately kicking into his opponent to inflict pain. Worth more to him than the goal. The victim, Ahmad E, after having recovered, starts chasing Ahmad O around the field and pretty soon they’re at each other’s throats. 

The big guy and the reluctant goalkeeper

Ahmed M2 walks off the field crying because nobody wants to pass to him. 

Ahmad A also ended up crying because I made an “unfair” call which allowed the other side to score. My unfair call was that the big guy didn’t have the right to play goalie for 5 seconds to cover his handball mistake. (They may sometimes switch goalies but have to call it. He called after the fact!) 

As for Ahmed S, the only time he got his foot to the ball, was to score an own goal. He said to me afterwards – it shouldn’t have counted because it was an accident. 

The annoying part is that the whining doesn't end when the game ends. They never ever accept defeat. It’s always unfair!!! Told them I thought they needed to do some growing up before I would allow them to play again. Now we know why the Asian Cup final was between Japan and Australia. And why I don’t bother to watch the Middle East play.

@ the Souk

Found a real souk this morning. No women in sight! Went with young British family. Elle and self had a child each to hold onto. With Jay in front, we didn’t look too uncommon. Man with two wives. Joseph is six or seven. I asked him if he knew why there were no women. He said: I think the women say, in Arabic – You go do the shopping. I’ll stay home and be lazy. He emphasized the fact that they said it in Arabic, not in English. He also invited me to come live with them. I asked him where I would sleep and if he would be willing to give up his bed. He said I should sleep with his parents because their bed is huge and can easily accommodate three adults!

You can find anything at the souk, and I mean: ANYTHING. Streets and alleys and squares. All the shops selling the same stuff in the same street. The fruit-and-veg market is visually pleasing. It looks like a painting, as if it’s set up specially for the likes of me. At the spice-and-nut shops you can feast your senses. And where they have the animal section, you have to quit being sensitive. (SPCA would have a fit) Chickens and doves a plenty. Roosters fetch good prices. Even saw budgies and love birds. One little rabbit in a box. And a snake in a bird cage – no glass! I tell you, that snake looked poisonous enough to me.

Everyone stared at us. I felt like I was on a catwalk. Refrained from doing the catwalk walk with head held high and hips swaying. People at the souk aren’t Saudis. They come from all around. Judged by their clothing - lots of Afghans and Pakistanis. And no-one speaks English. To be understood, you should at least be able to count in Arabic. For the rest it’s “salaam halaikum” and “shokran” as far as you go – the traditional greeting and thank you. Even if that’s all you ever say, you are accepted.

Medical Emergencies

Working at a hospital school – not a school for the patients, but for the kids of doctors. School is on the hospital premises. Medical emergencies shouldn’t be a problem. Hell, it shouldn’t even be happening. Can’t recall ever having had so many incidents in such a short period of time.

·         Playing basketball. Ahmad had a bad catch and bent his middle finger 90 degrees backwards. (bent in the middle) Before I could vomit, he had pulled it straight himself. I have seen rugby players (big men) do that, but not a child. His mom took him to ER. They bandaged it and told him to be careful.

·         Playing football. Ibrahim made a tackle, tripped and landed on his knee. He was in agony and couldn’t walk. I carried him back to school. He was taken to ER. They bandaged it. Two days later he was running x-country and sprints!

·         Ahmad was also running x-country. His knee packed up and he stopped running. He’s been limping since. He refuses to stop playing games. He insisted on playing football. He stood in the middle of the field and blocked the ball when it came his way. (He was not the worst player on the field!) Week later he was playing tennis (still with that leg not healed) Told his mother I didn’t think he should be doing any sport and that they should have it checked out. (Father is a doctor – what do I know?)

·         Ahmad ran back after break, tripped and hit the pavement with his hand. Thumb immediately swollen. By now, I’ve had it with all these accidents and surely doctors should know how to take care of their own. I pressed a pack of frozen peas in his hand (Discovered the peas in the staffroom fridge/freezer – I now know why it’s there!) His father took him for x-rays. Nothing broken. They bandaged it. Day later, bandage is off. Handwriting dodgy but normal.

·         Ahmed not feeling well. Lies on his arms. Looks pale. Wants to vomit. Phone parents to come fetch him. When they pitch, he’s at midday-prayer. First time this year! Either he thought he was being punished and had to repent, or he was trying to impress them coz he knew they were on their way over. This happened today. I am not concerned. He will be back tomorrow as if today never happened.

Closing note – I have twelve boys in my class. Six of them are named Ahmad.  Above incidents happened to four different Ahmads.

And for future reference: Keep the frozen peas handy, make sure the problem area is bandaged and wait 24 hours. After that, return to normal. Guaranteed to work. 

No Problem

And how is it now, being back?

I checked in all by myself at the Airport. Got myself a Cappuccino and muffin and relaxed. When it was time to board, I walked to the gate and met the others. There were eleven of us who knew each other – teachers and nurses from various places. Teachers have same holidays and flights are limited so you actually meet regularly travelling between Saudi and wherever. I was so relaxed that I almost scared myself. Watched “Happy Feet” during the flight. (own choice) “What’s wrong with being  different? I like different.” Had to spend the night at Jeddah airport, waiting for a connecting flight. Everybody was getting agitated and excited because they should have provided us with a room. I simply found myself a suitable corner and slept as soundly as the pilgrims. Then the flight got delayed and two more hours were added. No problem. And it has been my attitude ever since: No Problem!

Had to get a hospital id. (employees have to) Sounded like schlep and I kept postponing it. Re-energized, I decided to get it done and ran across to security during break-time. Was told to come back later. I asked if I could bring my class along and make them quietly sit outside. They thought it was funny. (I was actually serious.) Got the art teacher to look after my class and promptly returned. Was then told I should get a signature from head of security, “next building, turn right” – Looked at the one with most stripes on the shoulder and said: “Please, can’t you send someone with me to show me? I have gotten lost so often in this place I’ll end up at the Souk” Obviously I amuse them cause someone did walk with me – totally against the norm.  Then it was photos and computer-work (typing very slowly with one finger) and only the senior guy that can do it. I indicated with my fingers that I was looking for the guy with 3 stripes. The junior pointed out that it was actually 5 stripes. Low and behold, I got it done and felt so proud.

Next mission was buying a 3G card for the internet. The 3G adaptor, toggle, dongle, dangle, whatever, was a mission. After work, bus dropped me off at Panda, aka The Store for All. (Busses run every hour.) Got to the counter with four youngsters ahead of me who wanted to look at cellphones, cameras, camcorders etc. Before I could talk to the assistant, it was Sala – and off to prayer they go! An hour later he reappears, taking his sweet time and then starts with the youngsters who had also been waiting. At that point I lost it. “Please, I don’t want to look, I don’t want to test, I don’t want to ask questions or compare. I SIMPLY NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE ME A BANDLUXE STICK SO I CAN GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS FUCKIN SHOP!” That certainly got his attention. “Oh, I saw you an hour ago.” “Yes, and at this rate I’ll be here for another hour cause I’m gonna miss my bus.” I should have had that little outburst sooner because after that things happened quickly, except that I did miss my bus and did have to wait the extra hour. Oooooh, Patience! Got plenty of that now. Shopped for groceries. Read my book. Made the bus (and the others) wait whilst I uploaded my bags (same as all the Filipino ladies) and arrived home, still in one piece. Just to find that my key was now missing. Left everything on the doorstep and ran back to the gatehouse to get spares. Upon my return, found the whole neighbourhood’s cats trying to get to my food…. Still unmoved, still in one piece. One hectic day in the Kingdom! (Couple of days later when I was putting on my running shoes for PE, I found the missing keys!)

The rec. centre organizes weekly outings (free of charge) There are only about four places worth visiting, and I’ve already been to one. I asked around as to how one should go about joining, but none of the veterans seemed to know and had clearly never been. After four years! So kan ek waaragtig nie sit en vrek nie! I’m not like that. Went to the rec. centre. Got introduced to the manager. Booked a place. And it’s as simple as that. (Almost) The outing will only take place if there are at least ten people. My first effort got cut short because there were only nine takers. But I put my name down for the next one and I’ll just keep booking until it one day happens.

Will and I resumed our Thursday (read Saturday) walks to town. I put on my abayah, cover my head (not that I have to, but I’m sure it helps) and off we go. Saudis shop at night so when we go early morning, it’s very quiet. The walk takes us an hour either way. We do it to get exercise, we talk all the way, and sometimes we buy stuff just to make it seem worthwhile. I bought myself blue salad spoons to celebrate the New Year. (Any excuse, as I always say.)  (Don’t worry about Will. He’s a colleague and a friend and offers a degree of protection as a male chaperone – when in Rome…)

My villa has windows on three sides. The fourth wall is joined to the neighbour’s. I have only ever opened the curtains of the sliding door. It opens onto my patio from the bedroom. Totally private. The next window, in the lounge, is by the side and then the front windows look out on the street. I don’t have net-curtains so have kept the curtains drawn. After having returned from my holiday (and four months into my stay), I felt more at ease and more comfortable in my own skin, and opened the side curtains. I realized it was still private and that I could see the mango tree.  And all this time I was missing the beauty of looking at a mango tree!  Then one afternoon I opened my front door to let the sun in. And finally today, I wanted to watch the rain and so opened the front curtains. It’s a secure compound. No strangers prowling around. I’m not scared of “beyond the garden wall” anymore. I live my own life. I let the light in. I find it very symbolic and nurturing. I have weathered the storm and have found calmer waters. I am experiencing my own peace on earth. It may not last. I may encounter new storms. But I’m okay with that. I consider myself exceptionally blessed. What will be, will be.

“I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button‚ movie

Laughter

My New Year’s resolution: 

Laugh as much and as often as possible.

So what has been funny, thus far:

      *Old Year’s Eve: Youngster singing along with Jack Parrow, swearing like a trooper, then looking at me apologetically saying: It’s no me, it’s the lyrics. “Dans, dans, dans. Ek wil fokken fokken dans!” I think it is hilarious, even when nobody else does.

-         *Walla (fat boy) jumping in the only puddle on the playing field and splashing water all over the headmistress.

-         *The headmistress holding up clothes from lost property, except the box got mixed-up with clothing donated to charity – lots of pyjama pants!

-         *Staff meetings, more aptly known as briefings, cause your input is not required. Normally quite outspoken, I picked up on this early on and now shut the fuck up. It serves me well. It is the interaction of the others that I find amusing. A quiet observer, I watch their futile efforts as they offer suggestions. What follows is predictable, harmless and bloody funny. Funny because it’s repeated every day and they still don’t get it.

-         *The kids’ bizarre hats. One day these kids (currently dressed by their parents) will grow up, see pictures of themselves, and be mortified.

-         *Watching the Filipino ladies get on the bus with their month’s groceries.

You are all beautiful. You are all magical. Deserve to be adored. - Parlotones